Paper Boat – Humor Contest

The Paper Boater ran a limerick/humor contest. Other than the one entry about “the meticulous shipwright who demanded his pay-per-boat”, by far the most popular art form was the familiar limerick. (Says something about the class of reader, I suppose). The best of the lot follows.

A hippy canoeist who tripped,
(With paper boats always equipped,)
Said that he was just fishin’
But gave ground for suspicion,
For he always came home again ripped.
— Larry Westlake

The paternal Elisha Waters,
Begat two sons, but no daughters.
And the boats they perfected
To this day are respected
So ideas live on…… but few are odder.
— Larry Westlake
(The following needs a brief explanation. Larry Westlake had an uncle Victor who commercially built paper/cedar boats Pacific NW shortly after WWII, sold under the trade name of Litekraft.)

In the Litekraft plant my uncle Victor
Built boats pretty and prim as a picture,
And although the boats lasted,
Their bright hopes were blasted,
By fiberglass and polyester.
—- Larry Westlake

A daring young man from Toronto,
Had a wonderful plan he was on to.
He’d a boat make of paper,
‘Round the world he would take her!
Sad to say he was home again, – pronto.
— L. Westlake


A Frenchman with wits like a rapier,
Built a boat that was made out of papier.
When sealed up with glue,
(and Arabol too,)
He cried “It floats! Oh I couldn’t be happier.”
— S. Pattison

There was a boatbuilder in paper,
With wits not as sharp as a rapier.
His creation, when launched,
Had some leaks to be staunched,
So he shrugged… and duct taped her.
— L. Westlake

A smuggler, named Elvira Wise,
Paddled paper boats for her disguise.
For the police would not nab her,
In a plain, brown paper wrapper,
(A shield ‘gainst inquisitive eyes.)
— Name withheld at request of author

There was a young lady from Hall,
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
It caught her on fire,
And burned her entire,
Front page, sports section, and all.
— Author unknown (and it’s not really about boats, but so what?)

Originally posted 2012-04-08 01:18:04. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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